Sueanne's Story Unfolds

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Relfections of the week

Another busy week... felt drained. Somehow I can't seem to keep account of where my time went.

Sunday
Church, visited Lan to say farewell... she's going to Paris for exchange. Well, my prayers for her. May this exchange give her sometime to ponder upon life and to appreciate all God has given her... Most importantly, God, please watch over her... no one will know how she is doing spiritually... keep her close to You.

Dad, mum and Joep left for Phuket. May God use them mightily there to bless the people. MAy they also be encouraged by seeing how God is moving in that place. To read more about what is happening in phuket... I'm really glad to hear how the church is growing there. The tsunami in 2004 has really opened a spiritual door. People are just entering the kingdom!

Monday
Class from 8.30 to 5pm..none stop! Lunch was provided as the lesson cover fine dining and it was our practical seesion. I was totally in a dilemma... firstly I wanted to fast (had the prompting to do so to pray for my parents and sister in phuket)... Secondly, there was prawns and quarter a chicken. How am I suppose to eat those with a fork and knife? Well, thank God, in His great wisdom, I was fasting.. so that was my excuse... but food was wasted... well, at least I didn't have to eat.... it would be impossible and I'll look like a total ****.
After that rush to church prayer meeting...by the time I came back it was 9pm...

Tuesday
Class 8.30 to 2.30pm. Again no break. Another class 4.30 to 6.30pm and after that rush to VCF FT to raise funds for MEET. Another tiring day... Thank God, we managed to raise a few hundred $ with some love gifts. Another $9k plus to go...Well, I think I will trust God to provide for everything we need.

Wednesday
Attempted to do my work which was accumulating since Monday.... but just no mood... just couldn't study effectively.
Had to prepare BS and class for 4 hours! I really hate the new system where seminars are now 4hours! How are we suppose to absorb everything? *duh*
CG at night. It was a good time of sharing. But ended quite late... have to work on timing...

Thursday
Interview with our Japanese Christian at 9am! What an ungodly hour but no choice. Our team die die have to do this interview and it was the only time we could slot in.
Anyway, the 2 hours spent was really beneficial. We learn so much more about the Japanese culture, what they value (group harmony, success), religion (is a ritual, a hush-hush thing because of their history.. will post up the details after my group has consolidated our research),
Christianty in Japan (we got to hear why it is such a hard ground), how do we approach them when we're there etc...
Rushed back for tutorial... only to find out that I didn't prepare before hand! Aiyo, must have forgotten to do my readings before class... blur blur.... k, need to back up! Some how I giving more time to studying Japanese and other stuff than studying.... must be the slacking mentality of mine. haha.. the two law modules I have seem to have so much less readings than the previous ones and they are literally spoon feeding us in class! heheeheee

Evening was our CF prayer meeting.... somehow I don't understand why is it so hard to get people to pray... Wonder how much time are we really setting aside to pray, to intercede for the lost... I'm thinking why aren't we as effective as the early church or great men of God in history...its because these people spent hours on their knees daily in prayer... not that they had nothing to do... but they sacrificed other things in order to pray. Who said that Christianity was free? Only salvation is. The rest requires a price. I think this mentality of "a relationship with God" is really causing some of us to take our walk with God lighlty. If it was a relationship and not religion, then why are we not investing our resources into it? Time to wake up! It breaks my heart to see Christians living mediocre standards... myself too at times....

But I came back to my room that day, and something just overwhelmed me... won't share it here, but God was really real at that moment. I repented of something I knew I had been procrastinating... I surrendered an area of my life I know had not been really dealt with yet.

Friday
Free day! Yippee... spent the morning doing Japanese homework and trying to remember all the hiragana. Jap class in the afternoon...Went for CG... which surprisingly, we talked about finances (tithing and giving to God etc)when sharing was over... wanted to voice what I think, but I think my idea may be a bit radical (for first time hearers, but not unbiblical) and because I have not started earning yet, I may not really be in a position to say anything...

But my thoughts (in short) are everything we have belongs to God... We are just His stewards. Its not that we give to God 10%. All belongs to God, the 10% is just a minimum... We should not have the mentality that 90% is ours to spend as we like. Rather, as I have read from great men of God (like Hudson Taylor, George Muller and Rees Howells), they gave everything. What ever they needed they asked from the Heavenly Father. They died leaving very little money but in their lifetime they managed Millions of pounds. How come? They always saw that all they had was God's... My pastor once challenged us:

One managment guru has billions of dollars to give away (can't remember his name but he's one of the riches man on earth). Problem: He didn't know who to give it to. Cos he couldn't trust them to manage it. And you know whom He gave to finally?
Bill Gates, the richest man on earth. Why? Cos he knew Bill Gates could be trusted.

Challenge: Can the church today be trusted with such money?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Thanksgiving

Its a wonder how God works... I couldn't get my Japanese class earlier as I didn't know I had to acknowledge it. Fine. So I went down to the Office of Academic Services to make some noise and appeal. They virtually ignored my appeal as I already fulfilled all my requirement to graduate. Priority to be given to other students. Ok. Fine.

So I just submited my appeal and surrendered it to God. Pray. I checked the system for subject vacancies... always 0. Fine. Eventually I gave up. Maybe not God's will. I've done all I could possibily think of.

The closing date to finalise the timetable was last Sunday at 10pm. I didn't know what time it ends actually. So at 10.30, I felt God prompted me to just check one more time. It was actually a silly thing to do as I had tried in vain all the while. And I had also gave up and wasn't thinking about it anymore. Anyway, I checked the system and to my excitment, I saw at least 6 vacancies! I was so glad, I wanted to add. But by then, the dateline just closed. That's it.

So I went to school to appeal again. To cut the long admin part, I went straight to the subject coordinator and wrote in my reason.

So today, I got the reply that I got it! haha! God really works when we had given up. God is teaching me to just surrender. It's always when we've reach the end of ourselves that He starts working.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Week 2

Been a busy week... don't know how come I feel there's so much things to do, even though the time I use to study is less...

Monday
Bought Insolvency Law book and completed readings for last and this week. 301 class was fun as we learn about dressing properly. Didn't know there were so much rules to dressing!
Busy trying in vain to get Jap class.. s*****d me to fail to acknowledge.. haiz

Tuesday
6 hours class, lunch with Lan, church

Wednesday
4 hour class, CG... thank God for the great bunch of people this semester! Hope that this semester we will have a better time and I'll be a better CGL.

Thursday
2 hour tutorial... the most fun thus far... we competed to built the tallest tower using poker cards! haha... must say this is the most fun and out of the box tutorial I ever had! Followed by leaders' meeting for 2 hours... God, I admit I almost lost my temper waiting... Teach me patience, patience... though I have slight patience, this incident made me realise how little my threshold was. Waiting 1/2 hour without anything to do almost made me "letup"...

Friday
Free day! Dad and Joep came down to visit me... So happy, woke up early to clean the room and waited for their arrival. Hanged out in my room and had lunch at Crystal Jade. Yummy! Quite reasonable.. Bid farewell to them at 3.30pm.
Waited for the 2 superman haha.. Eugene and Carlsen to come over to put some FES books in the room. Thank God the boxes fit well under the bed.

Saturday
Spent the whole day baking cookies for MEET fundraising. It was fun. Thank God for Shirlene who kindly opened her home and her mum who was just so surporting! Produced 700 plus cookies in 6 hours, time included for lunch, groceries and all... haha.. what an accomplishment!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

My Testimony

Here's a piece pf my testimony I wrote for my mission trip... hope it'll bless you!

When I was young, before I knew about God , I was an unhappy child. I didn’t like the way I looked and was a very sensitive person – easily hurt by small remarks. For example I will be very upset when people say “stupid” or “fatty”. Negative thoughts always crept into my mind and I will start condemning myself, thinking that nobody understood me. I was also fearful – afraid of rejection by my friends, schoolmates and people around me. I was also fearful of the future. For example - What am I going to be when I grow up? Will I be accepted?

My parents became Christians when I was around 6 years old. It was then that I started attending Sunday school and heard about Jesus. The Christians told me that Jesus was the Son of God who gave up His place in heaven and came down to earth to die for the world. But Jesus did not just die, He rose again after three days.

Did you know that Jesus died for you and me?

We were all in sin, separated from God. As a punishment of sin, we had to die. But God, our Father who created us, wanted us to come back to Him. And as any father, He didn’t want us to suffer and so He sent Jesus, His son to die at our place. So now, the way to God is opened to all who will belief in Jesus.

When I heard this, I felt comforted that someone would love me. I believe in Jesus. By my parent’s encouragement, I got baptized when I was eleven years old. This step was necessary to say that I wanted to follow Jesus and declare that from that day on, I will be a Christian. Since then, I diligently read the Bible and prayed to God. Day by day, God became more real to me. He was not just any other god whom my ancestors worship – one who seems so far away and is waiting to see if you have done anything wrong so that he could punish you. No, the God I knew was one that loved everyone and desires for each one of us to be near Him. He is interested in us. Slowly, as I began to walk closely to God, I discovered more about Him. It was like a relationship with a very close friend.

After becoming a Christian and as I walked with God everyday, I discovered how much He loves each one of us and that He cares. He sees each one of us as uniquely and beautifully made, with a purpose. I realized that God, even though I don’t see Him, is with me and He fully understands the situation that I’m in. He understood the pain I went through when others said the negative things about me – when I felt lonely, as though nobody loves me and that my birth was a mistake. He too went through the worst rejection when He had to die for us.

Besides, I discovered what it means to have God in my life. By knowing there is a God, I know there is someone who is in control of the things that are happening all around me – the past, the present and even future. By knowing God is with me, I know that there is someone whom I can turn to when I am in trouble. By knowing that God created us and that we are by no accident gave me a sense of purpose in life.

Knowing that God is creator of everything has also helped me understand that He has laid a plan for each one of us. We are created for a purpose and that there was no mistake when God created me. There was a point when I was at a cross road in life and I really didn’t know what to do with my future. It was then that God gave me this verse in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to give you a hope and a future”. This verse reminded that God has planned everything for me and I do not have to worry.

It has been more than 10 years since my baptism. God has been and still is good to me. He saw me through my childhood and delivered me from being one who is unhappy and fearful to one that is happy and contented with life. I overcame the fear of rejection and of the future by knowing God loves me and has my future laid down in advance. I now live my life knowing that there is a purpose for all things that happened and there is no fear of the future. Though it is unknown, but I know the One who holds the future.

I will like to end of my sharing by asking that you ponder upon the things I have shared. Are you living in fear as I was last time? Are you feeling as though life had no purpose?
God has changed my life. He can change yours too.

Thanksgiving

Into the first week of school. Thank God for a reasonable timetable. 4 day week.. and after Week 5, it'll be a 3 day week. Weee!!! Thank God I got 3 core modules only this sem - Strategic management, Employment Law and Insolvency. Though its 2 law module which can be daunting, I hope it won't be as bad as all the previous semester. Thank God for seeing me through all these years. Though now I don't even though if my results are good enough for a second upper... I just surrender it to God... Hope I can make it.. but on the other hand, who cares? Got a job already... Thank God for that too.

Thank God that I am in MEET this year.. I can't believe if I could handle all the work if I were in it last year! It was a blessing in disguise. Anyway, I thank God for the awesome team. Though 2 of them are super, super busy, I thank God He laid everything in order... My slack timetable allows me lots of free time... So we can help one another's workload. I wouldn't mind doing more work... that's why we are called a team.... God is awesome and wise isn't it?

I've learnt so much more about missions through this training. Now, we are on our own to do all the planning and stuff. Seems like a lot, but pray that God will see us through. There's planing of our itenary, contacting and liasing with our host missionary, plan budget, fundraising (coming out with prayer letters, things to sell, visiting churches), learning the language, culture.. preparing our items like testimony, sermons... etc etc... So much! But it will sure be a good learning experience. Do pray for me and all fellow MEET trippers. Got to balance this, school work, church and CF... that's a handfull. But yet, I'm so happy to be able to be of service to our God most high.

Ok, enough of me rambling.... hehee... Jesus, I'm just so glad to have You with me!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Hello 2007!

Can't believe its now 2007! Time flies!

Thanksgiving...
Thank You God for seeing me through 2006 - studies, internship, CF, relationships, hardships
Thank You God for the people around me, Your faithfulness (You have always been wiith me, tho I sometime forget), so much to be thankful for...

My regrets...
I have a few... not seeing my friends coming to know You personally (Hope they will do so one day, pray!)
... not meditating on Your Word as I should
... not building as many friendships as I did in my first year... I have become complacent in my friendships and am not investing in new!

New year resolution
... take my spiritual walk more seriously, to see God's kingdom advance
... friends with deeper friendship
... courtship?? hahaha.. my aunts n mum making such a fuss about me being single. ok I give up turing a deaf ear to their 'persuasion' and have to admit I shall start keeping my eyes open for one (when I start work.. but still... I shall not worry, God has my future planned out)
exicting year ahead as it will be my last semester in NTU, going for my first real mission trip and starting work...

that's all from me. Holiday is good. Came back from MEET camp blessed. It was a simulated mission trip. Can't say much about the camp as we are sworn to keep it secret. Only thing I can say its that I really got to know my team mates better and have a better idea of what to expect on my coming trip. Learn a lot from this camp.

In KL now to be with my sis as she sits for her finals... also, on a shopping spree - actually more to keep an eye on the spending haha... I'm the kiam ka na of the family!

Going back to singapore soon... school starting on 8th.