Back Off

dear xxx,

I really thank God that our paths crossed each others when we first came here. Really thank God for the friendship that grew within a year despite our different background. But our common love for Christ. Really appreciated the things I learnt from this friendship.

However, I feel that its time we should just move on. After investing so much in this, I don't like the idea of just giving all the time. This friendship seems to be sucking every effort from me. The joy is no longer there.

I know its a hard time for you to get adjusted to life here. But you've changed so much. You've become to complicated for me to understand. There are certain things, I might say that our values differ. I'm tired of trying to convince you and telling you things, as a friend. Sometimes I feel that you're just not listening and just too demanding, too complex. Ive been very open to you. Yeah, I know that you also trust me as a friend. Tell me things that are private. But sometimes I don't know, you seem to be having a motive behind. You're very double minded, which I hate. Swaying so easily, too often. I just can't understand you. I've tried... but I feel its going nowhere.

I dunno, but I'm not the only one who feel that you've changed tremendously. You seem to be so caught in the worldly things. Even I've tried advising and encouraging you as a sister in Christ I feel its all in vain. Many times you say you want to give up your faith... but I know God cares for you as much as for me. I've never given up on you. Thank God you returned. But I'm not sure if its for good. That's what you say, but now I don't think I believe everything you say. It has just lost its credibility.

Two times in a year you said you made a choice hoping that our friendship will remain as it is. The first time cos you said you were turning away from Him. And now just becos you want to move to another church? I just don't know what you mean.

I think we became close too fast. I think I need time to just back off and do some soul searching. I don't like being pushed around just because you change your mind... after making me go through all your unreasonable request. And you change your mind so fast! and it involves me. Sometimes I think you take things forgranted and very self-centered. Forgive for being so mean but I just need to let this go. I'm pissed. Sorry.

I should be happy as I have only one more paper to go... but you spoilt my day. I dunno how I'm going to tell this to you, contront you the next time...cos you may be unaware of it. I admit, I don't let others see my frustration outwardly. God help me to bear with one another. I need a lot of grace.